Scared...

So the other day as I was leaving the church at 2ish in the afternoon, I was scared for the first time, truly cried on the way home scared. Do you ever get that feeling that something is just not right, that's kind of how I felt. I walked across the street and was fiddling with the lock on the gate so I could get my car out...and all of a sudden in the middle of the day I heard gunshots one or two blocks over and someone come darting through the alley. I couldn't get the gate to open and I was convinced that it might be the end for me, I've been close to gun shots before, but this time it felt different.

However it was in that moment I realized that there is a reason we (and I am) are in this neighborhood, that God has a plan for us there. And while we may not know the outcome and the people of that neighborhood may not understand, there is a BIG plan. A big plan that I am so excited about. One that I may never understand, but I do understand God wants me to be a part of it.

In other exciting news, we're meeting with city officials on Tuesday hopefully to get some grant money for the programs we desire to start and for a 24 hour 365 days a year homeless shelter in S.W. Baltimore. But this won't just be any shelter it'll be men, women, kids, families, singles etc. There will also be a childcare center and hopefully other various programs. It'll be a unique shelter.

A wise woman I know told me the other day in order for people to want to help, you have to be unique. Your programs cannot be like everyone elses! She's right, what is going to make us stand out from the crowd? There is something about Metro Kidz and Charm City that makes us unique we just have to figure out what it is.

So my prayer tonight is for God to continue to pave the way for me and for the others at Charm City, for Him to keep setting divine appointments for us with the kids, with community members and people who we have yet to meet. That He'll continue to send the finances so I may continue to do His work and for safety for us, and for the people of this neighborhood.

He will not get the best of me

So Satan attacked me hard yesterday. I had a horrible attitude, I didn't want to be at Metro Kidz last night, we were late getting back from our break, so things weren't set up how they should have been, and as someone wise told me, "The first five minutes, makes or breaks the night." We learned this the hard way last night!

We had at least 100 kids last night, I am not at all complaining but when you only have 10 volunteers for the whole building it makes things a little bit more chaotic than necessary. We had kids fighting, kids pulling out each other's weaves, kids who are normally pretty good kids off the handle last night. I prayed last night as I was getting ready for bed, for God to send us more people, we're growing and we want so bad to be able to make valuable lasting relationships with these kids, but when there are not enough of us to have smaller groups or we have to spend the night doing crowd control it's not possible for that to happen.

The exciting part of all of this is there are 100 kids who are coming in off the streets into a safe zone, where they can fellowship with other kids their age and from the neighborhood, be loved for at least 3 hours a week, have a nice meal and learn about this amazing God we have. Through all the tears, the fighting and the crowd control when I walk away at the end of the night and I've been hugged 1.5 million times, when Eric has squeezed my hand so hard it hurts and I have heard the laughter of little girls who are learning about Jesus, I know we've done something right that night. I know that through what we're doing here we're changing lives, I know what some of these kids go home to at the end of the night and I understand (0r attempt to) why they are the way they are, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has me here for a reason and I will not let Satan get the best of me :)!

Answered Prayers

So I arrived at the office today and was greeted by two smiling faces, Pastor Paul and his wife L. Pastor Paul told me that he had this woman he'd like me to contact. In the meantime I'd been stressing about getting a mentor/guest speaker for next week, to speak to the teens. Pastor Paul had a woman who's an ex-prostitute who's been delivered the streets and a very hard life, we'll call her L. So I decided to give her a call, she wasn't available to speak with me right away. but promptly called me back. She's amazing, I am so excited to meet her and while I scheduled her to come and speak next week, she's coming to Metro Kidz tonight. She wants to see what we're doing here, meet the kids and prepare herself.



This is such an answer to prayer in so many ways. One because I know have a real life living testimony that's going to be able to relate to the kids as the first guest speaker and two she has so much potential to reach my girls, to be an example to them and to help them not make the same mistakes she did. Amen! :)



So as I was driving in today something that happened last week really struck a chord in my heart, I understand where the person was coming from, because if God had not called me to this place, I probably would have felt the same way. But we were waiting on someone to come and do some work last week, and they got lost, and getting lost in this neighborhood if you're not familiar could be a very scary thing I imagine. So when we figured out he might be lost since he was pretty late, we called him and he told us he gave up and was going home. When asked if we could reschedule he told us he didn't know if he wanted too. It broke my heart and made me wonder, what do people think when they drive past this neighborhood, would they ever drive through here on purpose? Also, everyone wants every place to be safe and beautiful but if people aren't willing to step out of their comfort zones, how is this going to happen. I pray everyday that places like the one I am in right now will change others lives like it's changed mine. I pray for my friends who come here and visit that they'll understand what I'm doing and why I am doing it, I pray for my friends who've not yet been brave enough to step out and come and visit that God will work in their hearts. I'm not asking them to commit to being here all the time, but just to experience for a couple of hours what I get to experience everyday.



Well it's Metro Kidz night so I am off to plan my lesson (yes it's last minute) spend some time in prayer and get the downstairs ready for the kids!



Thanks for reading!

When Dreams Come True

Welcome to my blog, this is the place where I plan to write about my experiences as an inner city missionary, the good, the bad and the struggles.

So I've been dreaming about this day for almost four years and it finally arrived. I started working at Charm-City Church this summer as a volunteer for Metro Kidz, last month Pastor Mike told me he'd like for me to be the Metro Kidz coordinator. A couple of weeks ago I began working at the church. I love it, I love coming to work never knowing what the day is going to hold. I love walking out at the end of the day seeing my kids playing or hanging out. I love Wed. nights when all the kids are hear, and I hear them laughing, playing and talking with other leaders and friends. I love that God has made a way for me and I am learning more and more what it means to completly rely on Him, the One who makes it all possible.

I know that this is not going to be an easy road, Satan has already begun attacking me, people have already started questioning why I would chose to leave my job to work with "ghetto kids" why I would leave a comfortable home and salary to share a room with someone else and make little to no money a week. Well the answer is because God is putting me here for a reason he is laying my path and I am being obidient and following it and know that He will provide for me the things in which I need.

Today as I was sitting outside waiting for someone to arrive for a meeting I looked around and realized what I have at my fingertips a whole world of knowledge. They may not be book smart people, they may not have finished school or have degrees from "name-brand" colleges, but these people who surround this place in which God has landed me for now are special. They have street knowledge, stories and pictures that are worth so much more than you or I could ever imagine. Some of these people as young as two and as old as 102 have experienced things that most of us will never experience or ever desire to experience. I met a little boy this afternoon his name is Hakeem he's two years old he has a younger sibling that is 1 and an older sibling that is 20. His mother looks to be in her 40's she's struggling to make ends meet, she was waiting on a truck that brings food into the neighborhood. I was so lucky to have had the chance to share my heart with her and hear the desires of hers. I invited her to church on Sunday, I hope she comes!

Well I have a ton of work to do and want to go see some of the kids before I head home for the evening :)!